Abby’s Campus Journal
Well, I’ve had my last night at Lewis & Clark.
It was as great as I could have asked it to be. It started with me and my friends driving to the Hawthorne food carts—in my opinion, they’re some of the best. We immediately flocked to Herb’s Mac and Cheese, which was great to see, because it moved from its previous location and we thought we had lost it forever! I got my usual, mac and cheese with garlic, tomato, and mushroom. So good and so cheap! Some other great carts were there, including an ice cream one that served maple bacon ice cream!
I held off of the ice cream, though, because our next stop was Pix—a great pastry shop/cafe. It was a small place I had never been to, but it had a great ambiance and such good food! I got a mango mousse, but there were some great looking macaroons that I could not resist! The tea was great as well. It was all so perfect, and so Portland. I know that I won’t have nights like that back home, and I really cherished it.
My friends really made the night special, though. I feel like even after 8 short months we’re basically at the point where we can read each others’ minds. In a great way. I’m going to miss them so so much—most live in California, with some Midwest and East Coast scattered in there. Hopefully I’ll get to meet up with the East Coast girls at some point this summer! Four months will be too long to go without bein’ a goof with them!
This year has been great. I’m not sure what I expected college to be like, but I’ve loved my experience. There are going to be rough patches, moving away is a big transition, but they do not outweigh the great. I will always remember my Portland days and nights, milling about Powell’s, finding weird restaurants, blaring Destiny’s Child. I will cherish my Lewis & Clark memories forever, as cheesy as it may be. It’s true.
I need to go to bed now, unfortunately, instead of hanging out until the late late hours. I leave at 5 in the morning tomorrow. Bright and early.
See you later Lewis & Clark. I’ll miss you more than I can say.
I stand by what I said about packing, I really do enjoy it, but THERE’S JUST SO MANY THINGS! I’m basically done now, and have moved all of my boxes. All there’s left are my suitcases. Unfortunately, my bedding is going to be taking up the majority of them.
Our room went from a warm red to a pale white in about three hours. Our posters and Christmas Lights made the whole room glow, but now it looks empty. Our coffee maker, hot water heater, speakers, maps—everything—gone. I’m getting flashbacks from moving in. I just want to cover the walls; they look sad and alone.
But the white is soothing, too. It feels clean. It feels like a transition. And it is. I cannot believe that my freshman year of college is over. It does not feel like it’s been an entire year since I decided where I wanted to spend these four years. Now there are only three left. That seems crazy.
I’ve heard upperclassmen say that time goes by faster every year. On May 3rd next year, will it feel like a year since the end of my freshman year? Will it feel like I’ve been out of high school in two years? Or will it feel like a couple of months?
Actually, I don’t want to focus on that! I just want to focus on packing, and on spending time with my friends. We’re going to the Hawthorne food carts tonight, which will be great! I plan on eating A LOT, since this will be my last fill of Portland food for a while. Then I think we’re going to try to watch a movie in the Platt Main Lounge—there’s a giant TV in there.
After that I can be sad about leaving. The walls and I will grieve together.
Things are beginning to slow down, finally. My French oral did not go terribly at all—in fact I feel pretty good about—and I’ve done three of my eight-page papers! It’s slowly coming together, which is great because now I need to focus on packing!
I’m generally an obsessive packer. I start at least a week before I need to, and yet I somehow, every time, manage to forget something mildly important. I want to start packing now so that this does not happen this time, since no one will be able to just send me my forgotten object!
It’s crazy how many things I’ve accumulated since I got to Lewis & Clark. A lot of the stuff is junk, it’s true, but it’s junk I want to keep! Of course I’m going to bring home the half-torn poster from The Branx from the time my friends and I saw Dan Deacon! Obviously I’m going to bring home my ticket from seeing Jim Lehrer speak at the Schnitzer!
Besides the memorabilia, I have a LOT of books—an inevitable occurrence when you live so close to Powell’s. Those are going to cost a lot of money to ship, but what if I want to read them (again) over the summer? No way I’ll abandon them!
Packing is the most overwhelming task now that papers and presentations are slipping away.
My obsessive packing is going to be difficult this time around, because I really really do not want to see my room empty. When I take my posters down, when I pack the tea boxes, and the shoes, and the books…what will be left?
It’s weird to think that someone new will have my room next year, but it is something my roommate and I have been thinking about a lot recently. How many people listened to “Help!” in our dorm before? Probably a lot. We weren’t the first, and we most likely won’t be the last.
It’s odd that a short time ago, we were the new kids on campus. Now a slew of new people are coming, and we’ll be sophomores. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m an Overnight Host for Admissions. Because of that, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting a good amount of people who have been accepted as part of the class of 2016, and let me congratulate you if you are one of those people!! From everything I’ve heard about you, and from every one of you I’ve met, you are making up one of the best classes of Lewis & Clark. Seriously. Every girl I’ve hosted was just so interesting, and so nice, and so COOL. I know I’m bordering on gushing, but I’m really proud of Lewis & Clark for accepting such great people.
I know May 1st is coming quickly, so if any of you have last minute questions about LC, please don’t hesitate to ask. Which college to attend is a big decision to make, one that you should definitely think about. Hopefully I can help!
It’s official: I can now count the number of days until I go home on my fingers. Unfortunately, I still have to enlist the help of my toes to count the assignments I still have due! The number declines with each hour I spend at the library, which is great, but I wish that I had that extra time to spend with my friends, instead of the stacks.
The most stressful things standing in my way of going home are not the papers I have due, I’m used to those—it’s the presentations.
I have this irrational fear of public speaking. It’s not irrational just because it’s not that big of a deal, and I better get used to it, but mainly because I act. I’ve been in dozens of plays. I’m well acquainted with the stage. I don’t get nervous before those except for the very minute before—while I’m waiting behind the curtain listening for my cue.
There are no curtains here. There are no lines to memorize. Perhaps that’s why it’s so scary. I have to wing it.
My French oral is terrifying mostly because I just can’t speak in other languages. I understand them, and I can write them, but I clam up when I’m told to speak it. Even in class, when I know that I know the answer, as soon as I am called on, I freeze. Eventually I’m able to utter the correct words, but they never sound right.
I’m nervous for my E&D presentation because it’s in an auditorium. With a podium. And a stage. Now that I think about it, actually, I’m probably so scared of this because I have to present my own work. Defend it. Admit that it could be better.
I took this section of E&D so that my writing would grow, so my class could workshop it, but when it comes down to it, it’s pretty ego damaging. In a good way, though. I appreciate it once its over. It’s the leading up to it that worries me.
I’m not going to stay in this mindset, though. It’s not helpful! Instead, I’m going to look myself in the mirror and talk in French about what I do to help the environment. I’m going to look myself in the mirror and talk about what makes characters bad or good. And then I’m going to look at my professor, and my peers, and do it all over again.
When I write it out, it’s not so bad, actually. I may even be excited.
The weeks will not stop flying by! I wish I could just reach out and grab them, but every time I try to do so they slip through my fingers.
Spring Break came upon me so suddenly that I had to pack rather quickly, which is not something I like to do. I’m a pretty methodical person, and rushing was kind of terrifying. But I was able to remember everything and hop on yet another 7am plane to DC.
My mom picked me up from the airport, which was unusual. My dad is mostly in charge of that on account of my mom becoming way too emotional, and sure enough, she started bawling at baggage claim. It was oddly reassuring, though, to see that she had missed me so much, for even though it hadn’t been too long, I realized that I missed her the exact same amount.
I had especially missed her cooking. I know a lot of people say that their mother is the best cook, but I legitimately mean it—my mother is the best cook to ever live. It’s just the truth. Last time I was home, she had shattered her shoulder (ahh!), so I missed out on the usual home-cooked food. This time was much different, and all the more delicious.
None of my friends from high school had the same break as me, so I went to visit some of them at a school a couple hours away from home. It was great seeing them, but it was so so weird seeing them in college. They were the same people I knew and loved, but altered. I wondered if they perceived me similarly. Anyways, I had a super wonderful time, but it made me appreciate LC, like a lot. At their school, most of the kids live on campus because it is in a pretty rural area. This means that the parties are all on campus, and that the entire school (basically) goes to the same one. The party that was happening the night I visited happened to be a “Tight & Bright” party. Yikes. The only “Tight & Bright” party that you will see take place on the LC campus will be 100% ironic—just the way I like it. So there were probably 400ish kids trying to get into this tiny cramped apartment that had no lighting whatsoever except for a black light. Everyone was grinding up on each other and I felt so uncomfortable! At Lewis & Clark, parties are not about dancing up on someone, they’re about getting to know people. There have live bands and cheesy games and everyone is so nice and wants to have a conversation. No one wanted to even speak to each other at the T&B party. It was dubstep and silence. Weird weird weird.
Coming back to Lewis & Clark was that much better. It was a deep breath of fresh air. I realized that these are my kind of people; the ones who want to have talks about the Middle East, not the ones who want to bump and grind. I’m so happy to be back here, and it’s sad to see that there aren’t that many weeks left. I suppose I’ll just have to make the most of them.
Not much time has passed since my last entry, but so so much has happened!
I realized that I never updated you guys about Sunburn, or my birthday weekend!
The whole weekend reminded me how lucky I am. My friends were great—each of them made me something truly special and/or delicious! We were able to celebrate my birthday, and my friend’s, by going to Sunburn, which, I’m not going to lie, had a weird start.
When we got to the gates there was a lot of security. It made sense to have it there, for there were legitimate celebrities coming to campus, and I’m sure that their security people wanted to make sure that nothing bad would go down, but it was odd seeing them. Lewis & Clark is a trusting community, and I’m sure that I don’t speak for myself alone when I say that I was incredibly put off when I saw them. There were checkers before the doors, at the doors, and past the doors. They didn’t even allow cameras inside! I thought this was a little strange (it’s a concert, of course we’ll want to take pictures!) and when my friend was forced to go all the way back to her dorm to put away her tiny little camera, I got a bad taste in my mouth. But once we all got inside, all of us with our SpongeBob birthday hats on (I think I’ll save mine forever), it was great! We came in at the end of The Thermals, and had some time to wait before GZA performed. After him, Gogol Bordello went on and KILLED IT. They were so wonderful—even my professors talked about them the next week. There weren’t that many people there when we arrived, but by the end of the night Pamplin was packed! I loved dancing with all my friends, because I haven’t gone to a concert with all of them in a really long time. Having people you adore around you makes everything better.
The morning after Sunburn my friends and I went out to brunch at this deli that I’m obsessed with, Kenny and Zuke’s. I ate way too much food and was able to take over quite a bit of leftovers, which is always a good thing. The rest of the day was spent reading, but it was sincerely brightened when I found out that my parents sent me flowers and a cake! That night, my friends surprised me by somehow getting candles, finding the cake, and singing me happy birthday in the lounge. When I commented on the abundance of candles, one of my friends responded “Well we had to put on twenty!” For a second I thought she was kidding, because it sounded like far too many, but then I realized, no, I’m nineteen now (and then there was one for good luck, of course). I’m getting old.
I know I’m not actually old, but it is a little scary. I feel like my life is moving at insane speed. My first year of college is almost over. WHAT? Have eight months truly gone by since I boarded that plane at Dulles? It feels like just yesterday I was finding out who my roommate was and stalking her on Facebook. It feels like just yesterday I was in my orientation group.
This won’t be the last time I reminisce, that I promise. But it’s just so weird to think about. Time is flying by, and I’m not sure how I feel.